The Magical Process of Becoming

The total of our being (i.e., existence) is like the seed of a plant or a tree. Things that happen throughout the days are the rain of fertilizer that grows the twigs, leaves, flowers, and fruits. The fruits then bear seeds.

The most potent and remarkable fact is that even though we think about our being with the dichotomy thinking process (dividing one whole idea, thought, or concept into two separate and unrelated ideas), the actual happening is inseparable.

The process of becoming has no duality. In the fruits, there are seeds. Even though unseen, the seeds produce roots, stalks, and so on.

With particular and enough freedom, all of them grow plenty and lavishness. There is an abundance of continuity and discontinuity processes that is beyond discussion. It is abundant because the whole process is not void in time. The past and present together are welcoming and embracing the future. The total being is happening in one miraculous unfolding of life.

There is a reason why we need to just reflect on when the time has come. The total being manifests before us in real-time, causes and circumstances. All the happening always matters and has hidden and magical untold purpose and meaning.

DR. Rony Kusnadi, Ph.D., LCPC
Notable Life Counseling Services LLC

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Mantra for transformation

Relax, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Every breath helps you to sink more deeply into a quiet place inside yourself. This is the source of sacred tranquility. Now you can gently and passionately recite this mantra:

“I will discover a new image of myself that I have long longed for. My awareness tells me that I am indeed a part of this universe. I experience calm and healing. I trust myself more and more confident. I gently follow the inner guidance as I feel strong and courageous.

In a moment, I find out that I carry a sense of knowingness into the world. Amazingly, I can envision myself having more trust to be more focused within and surrender simultaneously. I begin to experience that my world is nourishing to myself and others.

I discover what I have created on the outside is much more beautiful and wonderful than I have ever thought because of this remarkable passion. My commitment to the universe is winsome.” Amen.

DR. Rony Kusnadi
Notable Life Counseling Services LLC

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The Power of Doubt & Distrust

When the truth is told, you can experience trust, doubt, or distrust. The differences between doubt and distrust need to be explained.

Doubt and distrust are not the same. Many people get confused about them and think they are the same. No, they are not the same. Doubt is about uncertainty. It is unsure. It is about knowing something is happening but not knowing exactly what is happening. Distrust means condemning the whole thing. Worse, there is no willingness to open up or learn about such things. One has already made up his/her mind. There is a certainty or final decision in distrust.

Doubt could have multiple directions, such as toward positivity or negativity. One who has doubt with positive direction and being processed with positive belief systems will lead to the capability to see opportunities and grow—the possibility to experience a deep sense of wonder and awe that scents internal and external exploration.

Doubt with the support of the facts and the clarity of evidence will become reasonable doubt. Reasonable doubt powers the journey further, with confidence and a sense of purpose and responsibility.

Unreasonable doubt happens when doubt is processed by maladaptive thought processes, such as “All or Nothing Thinking,” “Overgeneralization,” and “Catastrophizing.” Through this negative processing, the doubt, now transforming into unreasonable doubt, becomes an existential distrust.

When one sees his/her life through this existential distrust lens, life could be a curse, a never-ending suffering, or a never-ending defeat and debacle—life is experienced as a continuous catastrophe, paralyzing and totally saddening. At this point, one has no way of stepping out of his/her discursive thoughts, no way of stepping out of his/her ego fixation and grasping because one is so caught up in that particular preoccupation.

The necessary intervention is needed when rendering doubt with lenses of maladaptive thought processing. Right then, with well-trained mindfulness practices, one can question the process of thinking, exploring the supporting and not supporting facts with rational evidence. Through this process, one needs to pause, stop, and breathe first while learning to let go of his/her preoccupied thoughts.

Furthermore, one needs to learn to take in his/her own pain and put his/her awareness into the rest of the world’s pain. Surprisingly, one will expand his/her knowledge and heart and further reinforce this noble gesture, leading him/her out from the preoccupation of negative thoughts and emotions.

What does this all mean? It is about how one can liberate his/herself from the potential of self-defeating thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

DR. Rony Kusnadi
Notable Life Counseling Services LLC

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The mastery process to liberate

The seeds of mindfulness can flourish when one has devoted time tirelessly and happily to prepare his/her internal rich soil. One needs to have the confidence to mastery that through certain attitudes and mental qualities, happy life will prevail. The acts of cultivating and nurturing, along with the rhythm of life, are necessary.

In this process, one purposefully is tilling the soil of his/her own mind to shape character. In this mastery process, one perfects clarity and certainty every day. The process becomes the source of compassion and the right actions, replacing the confusion and maligned thoughts. Endurance then becomes the key here to liberate. As the old saying said, “when you learn or/and practice to love your life, life will love you all the way.”
DR. Rony Kusnadi
Notable Life Counseling Services LLC

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Understanding the negative internal process

The thoughts manifesting from the unsafe and unstable sense of self that yearns to be protected produce a deep affliction feeling. This affliction feeling has great tendencies to repeat the irrational fear, sadness, and anxiety — with repetition and compulsions, internal dynamics become a psychological and emotional disorder.

At that stage, one will try hard to defend him/herself against unwanted events and feelings. Furthermore, there will be a strong tendency to hold on to a certain fondness, which is maladaptive. Automatically the mind filters in only to the favorite ones. These conditions easily lead to overwhelming experiences of despair, anxiety, sadness, compulsions, and addictions.
DR. Rony Kusnadi
Notable Life Counseling Services LLC

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Bells and Robes

Zen Master Unmon said: “The world is vast and wide. Why do you put on your robes at the sound of a bell?”

An old saying is that whatever comes in through the gates is foreign. The gates are the senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. We obey foreign commands if we decide, move, and act by the senses. In response to our environment, we feel pressured, are easily upset, and become nervous. This is one of the characteristics of modern life. But if one settles down firmly in one’s inner life, all actions, feelings, and deeds come from deep within. The unenlightened one does things because he must do them; the enlightened acts because he wants to. Freedom lies in the center of life — Zen Master Unmon points to the center.
[Zen Koans by Venerable Gyomay M. Kubose]

Misconception about happiness is common

Misconception about happiness is common. We convince ourselves that life will be better if we have a larger home, a nicer car, and a corner office. We tell ourselves we’ll be happier if we are married, or if we are singles, or if we have children, or if we get divorced. We tell ourselves that life will be better once we finish a difficult task at work or perhaps when we change jobs altogether.

As we are constantly shown, the truth is that life is always full of challenges. Happiness doesn’t suddenly, permanently envelop us when we’ve completed a task or cleared an obstacle. At some point, we must admit that these tasks and obstacles are life and decide to be happy despite them.

Is there a solution to this universal problem?

There is, in a single verse in the Bhagavadgita (V.23):

“Only he who can keep in control here itself the pressure mounted by desire and anger can be happy; he is a true yogin.”

This formula for happiness is brief, crisp, and lucid, with no ambiguity. If we learn to govern our passions, we can be happy here and now. Transforming the old core belief system is a must. The difficulty is in the consistent and persistent daily implementation, which often we need support and guidance.

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The Power of Attention

If the eye is clear, our body will be full of light. When our attention is receptive and accepting, everything we see may become an object of meditation, a teaching source.

Even the most difficult and painful feelings and emotions can become teachers and companions for us as we experience them arising in the present.

There is wisdom from the fifteenth-century poet, “When the eyes and ears are open, even the leaves on the trees teach like pages from the scriptures.”

Where shall we place our attention? As we move through the days of our lives, how shall we keep our eyes clear, our hearts open, and our spirits alive and awake in the present moment? If we find ourselves thinking all day about whether or not we are loved, or how we can protect ourselves from danger, or how we can impress others with our skills and achievements, then we are condemned to languish in a prison of our own making.

Where we look and how we see gives birth to the kind of life we will live. If we see the only danger, we live in fear; if we seek what is gentle and true, we will find ourselves on a path of serenity and peace.

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Mindfulness Breathing

The body is always breathing, and the breath is constantly moving. Your breath is not only the best place to start; it’s a constant you can return to anytime you need a little centering.


In this first practice, you will gently find the breath in the body. There is nothing to figure out, there are no problems to solve, and there’s nothing special you need to do. Constantly return to your direct experience of the body breathing. You are training the mind to be with one experience without distraction.

 

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Healing Transformation

The human personality begins in the unconscious, called the individuation process. The individuation process occurs when the unknown sacred potential seed emerges with the ultimate living energy in the unconscious. This process symbolizes the unconscious’s power, whereas it shows how the fragile consciousness (referring to the ego) is born to be free and gain strength through the infinite process.

It is not only the “ego” that first emerges from the unconsciousness. It grows through, with, and in the unconsciousness. This sacred mystery communication within is a must process in this realm.

That is why in the individuation process, the individual needs to connect to the depths, the wider, and the integrated life within as much as possible. Every internal and external disruption could affect this fragile process and create certain disorders. Thus, the ability to admit that there are disorders as a reality within becomes the act of accepting the self. This ability starts from the consciousness, which then descends to the depth and wider layers of unconsciousness.

Therefore, the individual who can accept his/her depth realities, whatever they are (i.e., the realities within), has started the healing transformation process. The acceptance process, in mysterious ways, will resonate in the deep collective layers of unconsciousness. The healing journey toward self begins when the individual can take things as they are.

The process will take time, of course, and with leaps and bounds. When “wisdom begins,” the new expected reality is happening. Each thought becomes each step that leads to little healing transformation.

Rony Kusnadi, Ph.D., LCPC/Notable Life Counseling Services LLC


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