My Happiness, My Responsibility

Happiness DoctorKu.USA

Do you agree with this statement?  If somebody really want to be happy, nobody can stop somebody to be happy. Happiness definitely is an inside job! Nobody can ruin one’s happiness! Probably they can upset someone, yes, but they can only temporarily displace one’s happiness. Because still, nobody can take away one’s happiness. Thus, in order to cultivate the fullness of life one needs to trust this reality as a daily truth ~ every day, every morning when wake up in the morning ~ that “nobody can ruin one’s happiness unless he or she allows it happens.”

Some people probably think that the statement above is too simple and untouchable with reality but there are  findings tell that one’s happiness has positive correlation with one’s capability to developing character of saying yes to the statement “nobody can ruin one’s happiness.” When a person is able to say yes to his or her “self” about that matter than actually that person believes that he and she has possibilities and to enhance the capability to make life happier. Therefore, that person will have better and greater chances to be a happier person at the present moment and the future.


Saying yes for own happiness to the “self” and really mean it, and do it, is significant. One needs to agree and to commit first in order to allow him or herself to be happy and to become a happier person. By that positive conviction, one can strive more and believe more in the possibility to be a happier person. In this dynamic the person flows with positive core belief and then becomes a part of the flow itself, and the flow becomes a happening which transforms this person as a happier one.

The challenge is when one doesn’t believe in but still says it and then feeling miserable inside. Or, when one says it but doesn’t know the meaning of it, and keep saying it but doesn’t go with that. Or, when one says “yes” only to please the others who is “asking” or “inviting” in order to satisfy, not to hurt, not to disappointed the others. Or, the statement of “yes” is already as a daily commodity, stores in the subconsciousness, which states by a person without depth, without entity and meaning. Or, when too scare with the consequences of saying “yes” and doesn’t want to take responsibility to be seen different. Even there is a more painful reality when one says “yes” only to compromise with the screaming of the wounded inner voices who is trembling and shaking with only the thought of saying “No”.

Again, “nobody can ruin one’s happiness”. When person says “yes” about that matter with bold, depth, and strong entity, then there will be a movement follows. This inner movement brings to the real possibility that change is happening; that challenges the status quo of the self is starting. It is and inner act of bugging and correcting the comfortable position.

Actually, at the moment one says “yes” to the statement “nobody can ruin one’s happiness”, the inner self is just telling the mind, the heart, and the body to listen to the inner thirst. One starts believing that the thirst is real. The thirst becomes an inner calling to shred down all self-defenses. Then plunge one’s mind and heart into the call and entering into the core, and then discovering what is the grit that doesn’t let the mind and heart to rest until it is uncovered.

You will experience those things in the therapy sessions. You will learn that ambivalence is wakeup call to move on and to change for the better version of you. You will be challenged to choose between the conflicts because it is you who has power over yourself to be happy and “nobody can ruin your happiness unless you allow it happens.” You need to choose to be happy, either you are in the positions: (1) All the choices are sweet—sugars—positive; (2) between devil and the deep blue sea—when all the choices are negative; (3) at the time you are attracted to and repelled by the same object—Fatal Attraction–“I can’t live with it, and I can’t live without it!” Roulette Game! Or (4) when you are torn between two alternatives (lovers, lifestyles, work and children, etc.)—Each of which has both enticing positive and powerful negative aspects.

verified by Psychology Today

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