One thing you need to be more mindful is that when you say “living in the present” you need to cultivate first “trust.” It is almost impossible to experience the flow of life and grow up to the fullness if you don’t have trust. At the time you don’t trust someone or something then will raise inside you some possible “inferiority thoughts or feelings,” which will stop the flow.
Those thoughts and feelings are associated with the state of being resistant, judgmental, hesitant, fearful, dishonest, indifferent, shut down, closed, suspicious, and paranoia. They directly and continuously filter your ways at the time you interact with your spouse, partner, children, or others.
On the contrary, trust enables you to proceed with unconditional assurance to tap into the unknown. You just be and flow. You are able to experience the total realities with the whole of you. You believe that what you do will not fail and if it is fail then you know that there are reasons behind it. You don’t regret because the value lies in the process, not in a specific outcome. You convince, ultimately, everything works for the greater good. You have courage to expose your vulnerabilities to someone or to the surroundings.
You create a safe present in your thoughts and feelings. You believe that someone or the surroundings will not hurt you but is helping you to grow even more and more. You become less defensive. You develop an unique capability to open mind and heart more to the larger realities, with more positive, more possibilities, more receptive to the uncertainty, and more passionate in the interaction or in giving responses. Amazing right!
In other words, trust is incredibly healing and transforming. Trust leads you to hear the voice within and you follow it without hesitation. Trust gives you courage to tell the truth, to be more flexible, to recite gratitude, and of course to be more generous.
Unbelievably, trust, by itself is an unconditional positive regards toward self and others. Trust then welcomes others to see themselves as they were and are “in and with” you, and transform them to the better. That is the reason professional therapist will convey the ingredients of trust in their therapeutic journey with clients for both individuals and couples. Again, trust is the groundwork and the primary goal of therapy that show the way of healing.